Experimenting with food

Anorexia is like a Great White Shark. Whenever people hear it’s name, they instantly seize up and link their information about it to unjust and twisted facts. But when you’re swimming beside the great beast, it’s natural instinct is for it to observe you and for you to observe it. There are no attacks. No hostility towards each other. Just the diver and the shark, respecting each other’s spaces and each other’s state of mind. People only become panicked and scared of when this anorexia shark attacks a victim. But maybe the victim was asking for it. Maybe they tempered with this shark who was minding it’s own business, swimming back and forth through the current of our lives like a silent ghost. I’m not saying that it’s the person’s fault. I’m not blaming anything. I’m not even blaming the shark for obeying it’s natural instincts. I’m just saying that you must finally be at peace with this shark for it to just go along it’s way.

I wish I was at peace with this shark who seems to have bitten a huge chunk of me. But I’ll soon mend my wounds.

In attempts to no longer let society’s view of this shark haunt me, I’ve been trying many ways on how I can improve my situation. I haven’t loved myself for years. I haven’t respected myself as a person, ever thought I was worthy or pretty enough and just didn’t like being me. I’ve finally come to accept that now and I plan to change on how I feel about myself everyday. I want to love myself more, but I don’t even know how to get there. How do you love yourself?
On the food side of things, I want to become more confident in what I eat and not be consumed by guilt, hate, and many indescribable emotions that are associated when I nibble on a minute slice of something.

Preparation of the table outside 🙂 Under the blue lid is the Dal Bhaji and under the round green lid are the fresh tortillas.

For lunch, I prepared a surprisingly nice and hearty vegan indian curry/soup/lentil dish that my family greeted with open mouths. Since it was such a beautiful and bright day outside, we decided to sit in the garden and enjoy soaking up the sun’s rays whilst dining on our healthy cuisine. I got the recipe from FatFree Vegan Kitchen, which is an amazing site which I found 🙂 Since my mum and I are both Mexican at heart, we cooked up some freshly made corn tortillas which are super healthy and sliced up a lemon. The Dal Bhaji had a zing to it (all the wonderful spices used really enhanced the flavours) and adding lemon brought an explosion of India into your mouth.

Vegan Dhal Bhaji accompanied with lemon and freshmade tortillas!

What can I say, it was delicious and nutritious!

Yes, the thoughts about not eating foods are always nagging on my mind, always pushing through and overpowering every other sense, but I must learn to resolve all my past problems with my parents and myself and just let the anorexia and depression swim by.

Each day is a step forwards. I look forward to shedding all of this and finally being free.

To whoever or wherever you are, I hope you and your Great White Shark are at peace with each other.

Adios 🙂