New Me

It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining and I’m fucking motivated on becoming myself again. After the sun greeted my freezing bones with pure warmth and the jacket that I had been hibernating in for months now finally shed off me like snake skin, I began the road to a happier me. As I tossed and turned the previous night thinking and fretting about the breakfast that I was going to have in the morning, I finally put my mind to ease that I’ve had enough of being dangerously freakishly skeletal without any energy or light left in me. Do you have any idea what it’s like to feel like you’re going to faint every time you stand up and having to watch healthy people doing their activities and sports without having to worry about their hearts having an attack? I pray to Buddha that none of you beautimous people ever experience this shit.

Last night, a thought entered my head. Ever since the paediatrician weighed me since the previous visit and found out that I had actually lost weight and that I was really in the danger zone, I’ve decided to bring on the challenge of eating more food. And I mean actually eating it. It struck me that if any other normal non-anorexic person was told that their body was seriously underweight, they’d be having a Family Feast from KFC every night.

No, I did not go and pig out at the Kid’s Fattening Centre (KFC), but, I finally came to the conclusion that I live in a city where there are so many different varieties of cuisines and I can literally have any because I’m so skinny that I might as well put on weight as quickly as possible to get over this shit.

So today has been the day where I have been mentally prepping myself from morning till night for all the meals to come.
I went out with ma mère et mon père to the groovy suburbs of Fitzroy for my “supposed” vegan brekkie but after having my heart shattered and chucked to the pigeons in little pieces when we walked up to the cafe and found out that it was closed for renovation, we continued our quest in search of a cafe worthy to my standards. After having a freak out about eating and declining menu after menu, we finally settled on this small cafe, Ethos Cafe, just on Brunswick and Johnston St. I braved up and ordered the corn fritters with chili and avocado salsa but scraped aside the sour cream since I tried to make the dish as vegan as possible. As a drink, I settled for the T2 Detox Tea which made life heavenly and my tastebuds harmonize in joyous singing.

My first bite to freedom.

I plan to marry you, Detox Tea.

 

Surprisingly, it was actually good. Even though my pea sized stomach was full after the first bite, I charged like a fucking bull and demolished everything (besides the sour cream). It felt healthy and non-greasy and the very much missed sun made the meal even more pleasant. My parents and I talked about Mad Men and how Betty is a complete bitch whilst we ate our food and were actually for once just another family having their Saturday breakfast out. The negative thoughts of not being worthy enough and too fat and stupid slither their way into my mind but I fought them away with each mouthful of my yum yum fritters and stomach tumbling tea.

We wandered the streets of Fitzroy, contemplating on the life we could have if we moved to this neighborhood and looking at all the street art that had accumulated on the side walls like moss. If you’re planning on visiting Melbourne or you already live here, go to Fitzroy.

We looked around, met new neighbourhoods and by 1:30pm, we headed back home for my lunch. I had my usual. A greek salad, minus the feta. I then set to work on cleaning part of the house and taking a trip down to the Prahran markets where I was to get my surprise for the night. The Prahran Markets is another must in Melbourne. It’s just thriving with culture and uniqueness leaks out from every stall and fills the air. I bought a loaf of olive bread and a special 4 for $10 dips for my parents and ventured over to Mr Nice Guys Cupcakes stall and bought a Count Chocula cupcake. But let me tell you, this is no ordinary cupcake. It is a sugar, dairy and egg free and by all means vegan delight that amazed me.

Wide variety of homemade dips for a very cheap price.

So I headed home and continued to clean the outside of my soon to be wicked courtyard. By 5:30pm, I hopped in the shower and had my mother fret over how much walking and activity I’ve been doing throughout the day. Both my parents get worried about all the calories I burn off just by moving my foot forward but I understand them. I was later accompanied with a steaming bowl of my usual stir fry and quinoa at 6:30 with Robin Williams bringing me joy in Flubber. It’s just what I needed. To top off the night, I ate my cupcake with great effort but continued to remind myself that this is the path that I must take in order to do the things I want to do.

This cupcake. Beautiful creation.

So here I am now, typing in my bed and drinking my tea with a full stomach. I honestly can’t wait to recover, and everyday I’m one step closer to it. I know it’s going to be a very bumpy ride, but I plan on staying through it right to the very end. To whoever or wherever you are, I wish you the most crazy day or rest of day.

 

Adios 🙂